In death

Have you ever noticed that in someone's death we realize our own mortality? How we are all just a moment away from it?

In the moments and days after a person's death, we speculate about what ifs, whys, why nots, and all the things that made this person who they were. We find ourselves drawn to the fact that we didn't get a proper goodbye, that unfinished business remains, about the last words we spoke to someone and we cling to this because we believe it's all we haev left. We have guilt, shame, anger, denial, and sadness all rolled into one. It's weird how in one person's death we find ourselves being self-reflective.

I received some disturbing news this past Monday. A thirty-year-old cousin of mine had committed suicide, leaving behind a wife and children. Although distance separated him from our family for a time, we all feel this loss deeply and mourn his loss and his family. I realized that we spend a lifetime analyzing a person's life, scrutinizing their every move, and upon their death, turn to all the shouldas, wouldas, couldas of our own life. Why don't we do this self-reflection all the time? Living each moment as if it were our last, cherishing those around us in the moments we have WITH them rather than in the days we have without.

To my dear cousin, Joey Pizur. Gone, but not forgotten.