Rollercoaster Christianity.

My walk with God resembles a rollercoaster ride. I eagerly wait in line for my turn, my opportunity to experience God’s purpose in my life, to know what it’s like to be on top of the world with nothing but God’s hands to catch me.

Other times, I take my seat at the front and buckle in, ready to handle anything he might throw my way. I choose the first car, in hopes that I don’t miss a thing and can constantly see what’s right in front of me.

Sometimes, I like to take the back seat to gain wisdom from those who are in front. Do I raise my hands? Scream at the top of my lungs? Or simply just let the wind whip my face?

The first hill builds in anticipation and at the crest, I feel like my walk can’t get any better. And then I plummet, to a valley, only to find that it’s a long way to the top again and it seems like I’ll never get there again.

I want to cross my arms at times and give God my look of disappointment. A harrumph for all the things He didn’t do that I thought He should have. For leaving me alone, in the valley. For not giving me what I want, when I want it. For not doing it my way. Why do I feel so FRUSTRATED?!?!

In recent days, people have communicated to me that they need help from God to restore their relationship with God. I wonder, if we’re asking God to help us fix it and our supposed problem is in our relationship with Him, perhaps the person that needs the fixing is not Him, but us.

Perhaps, I should look at myself and give a look of disappointment. A harrumph for all the things He asked me to do, but I didn’t. For trying to get out of the valley, on my own, without His help. For taking and expecting what I should, when I don’t deserve it. For doing it my way.